The Ice Pirates

The Ice Pirates
Theatrical release poster by Steven Chorney
Directed by	Stewart Raffill
Produced by	John Foreman
Written by	Stewart Raffill Stanford Sherman
Starring	Robert Urich Mary Crosby Michael D. Roberts
Music by	Bruce Broughton
Cinematography	Matthew F. Leonetti
Edited by	Tom Walls
Production company	JF Productions
Distributed by	MGM/UA Entertainment Co.
Release dates	March 16, 1984 (1984-03-16)
Running time	91 minutes
Country	United States
Language	English
Budget	$9 million
Box office	$14,255,801

The Ice Pirates is a 1984 comic science fiction film directed by Stewart Raffill, who co-wrote the screenplay with Krull writer Stanford Sherman. The film stars Robert Urich, Mary Crosby and Michael D. Roberts; other notable featured actors are Anjelica Huston, Ron Perlman, Bruce Vilanch, John Carradine, and former football player John Matuszak.

Plot

The film takes place in a distant future where water is so scarce and rationed that it is considered an immensely valuable substance, both as a commodity and as a currency in ice cubes. The Templars of Mithra control the water and they destroyed worlds that had natural water leaving the galaxy virtually dry. Pirates dedicate their lives to raiding ships and looting the ice from the cargo holds to make a living. Jason (Robert Urich) is the leader of a band of pirates that raided a Templar cruiser for its ice, and discovered a beautiful princess (Mary Crosby) in a stasis pod. He decided to kidnap her, waking her up, and alarming the Templars. Jason and his pirates fled, but were pursued by Templar ships. Jason let some of his crew, Maida (Anjelica Huston) and Zeno (Ron Perlman), escape while Roscoe (Michael D. Roberts) stayed to help Jason. They were captured. During their capture, they met Killjoy (John Matuszak) who's been pretending to be monk to avoid being a slave. Jason and Roscoe are sentenced to become slaves, a process which includes castration. Roscoe and Jason are spared castration by the princess, who has taken an interest in them. Princess Karina purchased them as her slaves, to work as servants during her party. That evening, they were reunited with Killjoy (disguised as a robot). Jason, Karina, Roscoe, Killjoy and Nanny managed to leave the planet before the Supreme Commander (John Carradine) arrived to arrest her. Princess Karina is spoiled, and she hired Jason so she can find her father, who went missing while searching for a planet with water. It is rumored he discovered one and the Templars would do anything to keep it a secret in order to maintain power. On their next planet, Jason and Roscoe got reunited with their fellow pirates, Maida and Zeno. They proceed to locate the "lost" planet that contains massive amounts of water. The planet must be approached on a specific course or the ship will be suspended in time forever. The course apparently contains some sort of real or illusory time distortion (resulting in both the heroes and the villains reaching old age during the climactic battle). In the end, the day is saved by the now-adult son of Karina and Jason, the result of a romantic tryst just before entering the time distortion field. As the heroes exit the field, everyones ages regress to what they originally were, leaving Jason and Karin with the knowledge that they will have a child together.

Cast

• Robert Urich as Jason
• Mary Crosby as Princess Karina
• Michael D. Roberts as Roscoe
• Anjelica Huston as Maida
• Ron Perlman as Zeno
• Bruce Vilanch as Wendon
• John Carradine as Supreme Commander
• John Matuszak as Killjoy
• Ian Abercrombie as Hymie
• Alan Caillou as Count Paisley

Reception

The film is somewhat tongue-in-cheek and often compared to Star Wars. Upon its release, the New York Times described it as a "busy, bewildering, exceedingly jokey science-fiction film that looks like a Star Wars spin-off made in an underdeveloped galaxy."

The film is also noteworthy for its cheeky, obviously cut-rate production values, mid-eighties "color-blind casting", sexual frankness, and near-deliberately slack "sitcom" direction. The climactic "time-warp" battle is a rare example of the classic science-fiction temporal paradox done in a "real-time" context. It currently holds a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes; despite this, it proved to be a moderate box office success, grossing a domestic total of $14,255,801 on a $9 million budget.

See also

• List of American films of 1984
• List of space pirates

External links

• The Ice Pirates at IMDb
• The Ice Pirates at AllMovie
• The Ice Pirates at Box Office Mojo
• The Ice Pirates at Rotten Tomatoes
• Badmovies.org reader review
• Sound samples of the film score