Henrietta Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough

The Countess of Bessborough
File:Angelica Kauffmann, Portrait of Henrietta, Countess of Bessborough (1793).jpg 1793 portrait by Angelica Kauffman
Born	(1761-06-16)16 June 1761 Wimbledon, London
Died	Florence
Spouse(s)	Frederick Ponsonby, 3rd Earl of Bessborough
Children	1 John, 4th Earl of Bessborough 2 Sir Frederick Cavendish 3 Lady Caroline Lamb 4 William, 1st Baron de Mauley 5 George Stewart 6 Harriet Godolphin Osborne, Duchess of Leeds
Parent(s)	John Spencer, 1st Earl Spencer Margaret Georgiana Poyntz

Henrietta Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough (16 June 1761 – 11 November 1821), born Lady Henrietta Frances Spencer (generally called Harriet), was the wife of Frederick Ponsonby, 3rd Earl of Bessborough and mother of the notorious Lady Caroline Lamb. Her father, John Spencer, 1st Earl Spencer, was a great-grandson of John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough. Her sister was Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire.

Being the youngest child, Harriet was often left in England when her parents and older sister Georgiana would visit the continent for her father's health. As a child, Harriet was frail and sickly, which led her mother to send her abroad for schooling, thinking that foreign air would help strengthen her. She grew into a young woman of exceptional beauty and intelligence, witty, well-read and self-assured.

On 27 November 1780, Harriet married Frederick Ponsonby, Viscount Duncannon, later 3rd Earl of Bessborough. Their marriage was a difficult one; since Harriet and her husband were avid gamblers, they often found themselves in debt. Frederick was also known to be abusive of Harriet, often humiliating her at public gatherings, as well as demanding that she find money to pay for the debts he had incurred. In 1790, her husband began divorce proceedings but, under intense pressure from both families, agreed to drop them. Their marriage produced four children: John William, later 4th Earl of Bessborough; Frederick Ponsonby; Caroline Ponsonby, more commonly known by her married name as Lady Caroline Lamb; and William Ponsonby, who became the 1st Baron de Mauley.

Harriet had numerous lovers during her marriage; as she once remarked "I can never love a little". Among her more notable lovers were Richard Brinsley Sheridan, the playwright and Whig politician, and Granville Leveson-Gower, 1st Earl Granville, who became her most enduring lover.

Her affair with Granville produced two illegitimate children: Harriet Emma Arundel Stewart, wife of George Godolphin Osborne, 8th Duke of Leeds (though she died in 1852 before he succeeded to the title) and George Stewart, yet somehow Harriet managed to hide her pregnancies from her husband. Granville would later on marry Harriet's niece, Lady Harriet Cavendish ('Harryo'). As Harriet sadly remarked, for seventeen years she had "loved to idolatry" Granville, the man whom she came to believe loved her least of all the men in her life, "although I once believed otherwise".

Of her younger admirers her favourite was William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne, who then fell in love with her daughter Caroline. Although Harriet was anxious for Caroline to marry early, she had misgivings (entirely justified in the event) as to whether William and Caroline were well suited; but in the event, due to her fondness for William, she gave her consent to their marriage willingly enough.

Sheridan's feelings for her became an obsession, and he distressed her greatly, just before his death, by saying that he hoped his ghost would haunt her; she asked if he had not done enough through his life to make her unhappy?

Harriet often accompanied her sister to political events as well as soirees. She was also very close to Georgiana's best friend, Lady Elizabeth Foster, with whom she often was seen in public. Harriet died on 11 November 1821 in Florence, Italy following the death of her youngest grandchild, Henry, in Parma. According to Lord David Cecil, she died peacefully and without regrets, worn out as she was by a life of emotional turmoil.

Cecil describes her as a woman of "indescribable distinction".

Ancestry

Family of Henrietta Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough

16. Robert Spencer, 2nd Earl of Sunderland               8. Charles Spencer, 3rd Earl of Sunderland                       17. Lady Anne Digby               4. The Hon. John Spencer                             18. John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough               9. Lady Anne Churchill                       19. Sarah Jennings               2. John Spencer, 1st Earl Spencer                                   20. George Carteret, 1st Baron Carteret               10. John Carteret, 2nd Earl Granville                       21. Lady Grace Granville, 1st Countess Granville               5. Lady Georgina Carolina Carteret                             22. Sir Robert Worsley, 4th Baronet, of Appuldurcombe               11. Frances Worsley                       23. Frances Thynne               1. Henrietta Frances Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough                                         24. Newdigate Poyntz               12. William Poyntz                       25. Mary Parkyns               6. Stephen Poyntz                             26. Stephen Monteage               13. Jane Monteage                       27. Jane Deane               3. Margaret Georgiana Poyntz                                   28. John Mordaunt, 1st Viscount Mordaunt               14. The Hon. Lewis Mordaunt                       29. Elizabeth Carey               7. Anna Maria Mordaunt                             30. Thomas Collyer               15. Mary Collyer                       31. Mary Lunsford